Tuesday, April 8, 2014


Maybe if I hadn't wasted three years of my life chasing what I thought was your shadow,
I'd measure up to your golden stature.
Maybe you're everything I've ever wanted
Maybe we could have made it – you make me think these things,
You force me.
I'd love to force you... I have, and haven't taken the time to think of everything that makes you beautiful.
I'd kill to feel your hand in mine. And fight to try to not feel inexcusably small next to you.
I had to see it twice, it's like the first time I didn't get it but the second time it hit me hard.
You did, you made me see you.
Something so amazingly beautiful that with envy in my eyes, my heart did cry.
Stuck in this crappy little boat, I wish I were you and want to love you at the same time.
I wish I had the same things you did, I wish I could do the same things you do.
No one will ever do but you, no one has and no one ever will.
The finality of my love for you hangs like death in stale air.
I want to do something, anything, to prove to you that one day I could stand next to you, as your other half.
I love you, is that enough? I need you, is that not abundantly clear?
My life has been washed, castrated, and sanitized. I'm what you would call a “good catch” with a side of failure.
The corpse that is my life rings clear like wedding bells in the Fall.

And I, undead, look up to you and wonder how I never knew you were oh so, divine.